One thing I’ve often kept to myself is my intensity. I’ve never held it back in my work or in my decisions at large, but I’ve held it away in the shadows of my personality. While my actions will speak of someone who approaches tasks intensively, I may have acted apologetically when speaking about it. There might have been shame attached to displaying an extreme tendency and with that a fear of turning people off. All it does, as a consequence, is putting myself in a cage that I don’t belong in. So I’m going to go ahead and let myself out of it. The doors slowly shoot to the side, and out comes two paws. Cute, little paws. But then follows a stretching of the limbs, and claws start to show. Glowy eyes in the darkness are staring right into yours. If your senses still serve you, this is the time to decide if its an invitation to play, or a predatory lock. Know thyself.
You decided to play? Okay. Cut the composure, and let me see you wild out. The thing that you have in front of you, that thing you need to get done, jump on it and devour it like a starving, bloodthirsty apex predator. I want to see you rip into its core, dismember it’s body parts to pieces and eat it up like it’s your last supper. Slurp and howl while you do it. I want to hear it. I want to feel it, and your intense desire to get that shit fucking done. There is beauty in being a beast when it comes to task completion. Don’t act cool and pretty about it. Just get it done, and let the savannah know you were there.
You know what might happen if you get too pretty about it? You might never get there. Sometimes you have to slam the door down. Brutalize it. Go out on a limp for yourself, and show the rest of us some fucking temper. Fuck the proper way. What’s your style? How do you go about your business? When it comes to our wildest dreams, there will be people out there that will do everything within their means (and hopefully morals, god bless) to get there. They will be so intensely focused that no amount of distraction can lead them astray. They’ll cut right through it, and they’ll smell in an instant if you can’t match that. You gotta fucking want it. When you take on your pursuit, and you one day step onto the scene, you’ll have all those uncompromising decisions behind you to tell you, that you are now in the right place. This is where you belong, and you are going to show that you belong. This is not the time to be modest. This is the time to do your thing, at full fucking capacity.
I had a teacher at university whom I secretly admired. Not in a romantic way. It was a guy. But he had this thing where he talked about the exams and what it entailed in a threatening manner. He was quite clear about the fact that we had to know our stuff if we wanted any chance of getting a satisfactory result. He then went on to explain some of the complex subject matter that we had to master. As the class went on, he made us increasingly uncomfortable. He had this smirky, slightly sadistic smile that widened as his students faces turned grey. He loved the fear in our eyes, and for that, I commend him. That turned me on. I dismembered the exam.
Bring your intensity. Stand out. Don’t be scared to scare people off by being yourself. Those who get scared or think you are too much are not the ones you are supposed to hang with anyway. We don’t hang with pretty, poopy, party killers. Only killers. Get the fuck out if you are not one.
